AWA DAILY ENTRY

AYRAA ayoko naman bigyan ka advice  kasi wala naman ako sa lugar to do that pero bb minsan listen to me ha, as ur wifeeeyy aayos na ko bb para aayos na tayooo mahirap den sakin everytime nagkakappikunan tayo kaya as long as kaya ko di ka na iprovoke pa, di na rin me kikibo. no arguu no away no triggers for both of us yan consequences ko, di naman kita pwede iabanduna, wala naman na sa choices ko yon iwowork out ko to iwoworkout natin to tatawid tayo 2023 up to 2024 2025 wedding tatagal tayo bb this time, dadaan na tayo saprocess with my fam then bubuo din tayo own fam natin uwi ka naaaa paalam ka na kay joji kayod tayo dito kaya natin yan balik na ko sa foundation ko bb.  tayong dalawa laban sa mundo. tayo ang magkakampi. noon kasi, ako laban sayo. di ko din alam bakit pilit kitang tinataliwas. Basta, pagrerebelde minset ko non, wala akong dapat na patunayan sayo. noon bb, lagi ko bukang bibig sayo noon pa ang salitang "bakit, sino ka ba?" sorryyy bb. di ko to masabi sayo ng

 

  Day 03 of 365 of 2023 As I started my day today, I did chores. I fix my bed and clean my room. I am productive today, indeed. I wasn't expecting for him to come here cuz first I know he will not come if its raining. A moment after he messaged me "bb, dito na ko sa taas kararating ko lang". I finshed more chores and quickly went to him. as I come I bought water, food, and all necessary stuffs. He opened our room door with dry cough. he really fought the rain for him to see me. i missed him so much but I did not expect that will really go home for me even if its raining. A read deal effort indeed. Im too stunned to speak. I am not that vocal anymore but i really did appreciate that. As we made love, there were things I realized. first, his perseverance. how determined he is to me. second, his thrust. I mean, not in erotic way but it was deeper. Its full of love and compassion. As we share the same goal, to established a family. third. those words from his mo

Day 2 of 365 of 2023 "ur my strength and weakness bb" A single phrase that he sent me. sabi niya pa "wala akong pake kung mag sawa ka. di ako mag sasawa, kahit di tayo magkausap sa vc basta nakikita ko ginagawa mo" wala lang, simple gestures pero ang touching.  I know its his assurance na makita ako at kung ano ang ginagawa ko, san ako na bu-busy and all. its just that, natutuwa ako.  kasi feel ko interesado siya ulit sakin. simple words, simple gestures pero anlaki ng kilig impact sa akin.  ang babaw ko, pero kinikilig kasi ako. we spent our time individually but yet were both updated sa galaw ng isa't isa. Magka vc every time. I, personally natutuwa akong sa maliit na bagay e na-aasure ko siya but I know it wasnt enough for everything ive done before, but gratefully, im more than thankful not because he is. still there but because he chooses "us" instead of himself.  "ur my strength and weakness bb" I know, yet i keep pushing you away.  I t

 DAY 01 of 365 of 2023. So the night before today, we fought.  nag-away kami ni bb, triggeran to its finest. the thing is I dropped a line. powerful yet risky line, Know what that is? Lemme tell u what.  "bb, umuwi ka ngayong gabi. Ill take that as a yes. And if not, I know what that means na" "kung ano mang desisyon mo, tatanggapin ko. Mahal kita" half way through of year 2022 was really chaotic to the point that we really need to let go of each other.  we aint healthy anymore. we arent happy anymore.  A week before I told him "bb, I need your answer before these year ends". Are we going to pursue this relationship or are we gonna end this.  last night of year 2022. December 31. We fought.  not that hard but heavy. Were both triggered to the point we will lost each other if we continued fighting.  I dropped the most riskiest line.  he was drunk that night and its too risky to drive. I found myself going to our room, the room upstairs which was made from h