DAY 01 of 365 of 2023.
So the night before today, we fought.
nag-away kami ni bb, triggeran to its finest.
the thing is I dropped a line.
powerful yet risky line, Know what that is? Lemme tell u what.
"bb, umuwi ka ngayong gabi. Ill take that as a yes. And if not, I know what that means na"
"kung ano mang desisyon mo, tatanggapin ko. Mahal kita"
half way through of year 2022 was really chaotic to the point that we really need to let go of each other.
we aint healthy anymore.
we arent happy anymore.
A week before I told him "bb, I need your answer before these year ends".
Are we going to pursue this relationship or are we gonna end this.
last night of year 2022. December 31. We fought.
not that hard but heavy. Were both triggered to the point we will lost each other if we continued fighting.
I dropped the most riskiest line.
he was drunk that night and its too risky to drive.
I found myself going to our room, the room upstairs which was made from his business.
He grind well for this house though. Im amazed of how persistent he is.
Yeah, I go upstairs staring at the ceiling.
thinkin "is he really going to leave me?"
I desperately convincing myself that "yeah, I can live without him, its not that I needed him, cuz I really did not"
I wrote rants and everything I hated.
I manifested how rude he is to me.
Every sound of engines made me realize that its not ours.
I found myself waiting for him.
I found myself patiently hearing every vehicles engine wishing it was him.
time passes, I fell asleep.
...
I woke up with those sounds.
someone is here upstairs.
he's here.
At first, I thought It was just a glimpse of a dream.
till I utter "bb."
he responded "aalis din ako bb"
I was nervous, umuwi lang ba siya para kumuha ng gamit at magpaalam?
I went down. No face rinse. No bra at all.
I went down.
he smiled and says "bb, sama ka?"
simple words
simple phrase.
yet, too comforting.
As i hopped up.
I hugged him tight.
at the back of my mind
"sasama ko kahit saan basta ikaw ang kasama"
Those rude thoughts vanished.
those anger turned into smiles.
I thought i did not really need him, turns out he is all I need.
A happy new year indeed.
A new start, new happenings.
we tried his "medication"
fucking hell HAHAHHA my world collapse.
Its like im in the wave itself.
its calming at the same time its rhythm was satisfying and comforting. Its relaxing. Overall im satisfied of how my new year went.
kita ko si papa jesus my hawak na betamax 😆
A happy new year indeed.
A new start, new happenings.
we tried his "medication"
fucking hell HAHAHHA my world collapse.
Its like im in the wave itself.
its calming at the same time its rhythm was satisfying and comforting. Its relaxing. Overall im satisfied of how my new year went.
Another thing was the vibration.
the airwaves.
the air circulation itself.
Im feeling it all.
how the air bounce into my skin.
how his voice echos inside me.
its therapeutic.